Category: Uncategorized

I am moving this blog over to Substack, which is apparently where all the cool kids post their blogs. I hope you will join me over there! https://alltabsopen.substack.com

Every morning, I would take my probiotics. And every night, I would take my Klonopin. Well, almost every night. I never took more but truthfully, I often took less. I would skip doses, take half of what was prescribed, then take the prescribed amount for a while. I went off of it once, completely, about…

I realized I had a drinking problem when I couldn’t stop. Okay. Let’s back up a bit. I realized I had a cocaine problem, so in the spring of 1998, I gave up my on-again-off-again 20-year love affair with coke. Once that happened, the whole better-living-through-chemistry balance was off-kilter. Suddenly I developed a tolerance to…

I wake up in mid-gasp, heart pounding, eyes snapping to attention, adrenaline rushing, thinking about Madame Du Barry, the mistress of Louis XV, who was dragged out of retirement during the French Revolution and executed by guillotine, shrieking and pleading for mercy from the executioner and the throng of increasingly uncomfortable onlookers until the blade…

Twenty-four years of sobriety. And almost that same length on a prescribed dose of an anti-anxiety medication, one that we now know shouldn’t be taken for more than two-to-four weeks. A decade ago I was taking six different medications for different reasons, now I was down to just one. With all of my awesome tools…

I’ve never come on social media looking for pity, cloaking my victimization in some transactional event of the day, and I’m not doing that now. But I have to tell my truth or else I feel disingenous, and the times that I DO have fun — and I do, lots! — seem like a smokescreen,…